RAYZOON

A bit of background: I wrote this song about a year ago as part of a fast-paced songwriting competition. Back then I programmed the drums manually with the mouse (I don't even have a MIDI controller) and used a drum kit that came with my sound card. The song was not well-received back then. Whether that was due to the bad drums... well, you can now decide for yourself.

I got myself a copy of JS a few weeks ago and started trying to liven up some of my old songs. Since the drums were particularly boring in this one, it seemed like a good candidate.

Warning: forbidden words in the lyrics, and the lyrics are fairly stupid.

Old version: http://jan-krueger.net/songfight/2008-11-05-stomach-for-it.mp3
With JS2: http://sharedstash.eu/music-jk/songfight/2008/stomach-for-it.mp3

I like it! Reminds me of "Big Dumb Face". I'm not sure if that's what you were going for or not...
I'd go crazier with the drums. They are still a bit tame.
Is there any bass playing? Make it louder or puncher!
I couldn't make out much of the lyrics but I don't pay a lot of attention to the words anyway.
Enjoyable and made me smile. Thanks!

I don't know "Big Dumb Face". I have to admit I'm pretty illiterate in music land. I'm going to check them out in a minute.
There is bass, but it's a synth that has more growl than bass to it. Good idea, though, I'll see whether I can change it up a bit.
It's not too big a deal that you didn't get much of the lyrics since (as I mentioned) they're pretty stupid. They actually fit with the idea of not too crazy drums, but I'll see what happens if I make them more lively.
Thanks for the feedback!

You're welcome. It's only my personal opinion of course. I did hear the synth playing - maybe you could try adding an additional bass layer to punch thru and keep the current synth for texture?